Category Archives: Educational

Shakotan Blue Available Now

Shakotan Blue angle

At long last, Shakotan Blue is officially published! Head on over to ShakotanBlue.com or Amazon to order your copy of the ultimate Japan travel guide/memoir. Makes a great gift for anyone interested in Japan, especially those considering teaching English in Japanese schools.

And thanks for reading!

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The 5 Biggest Misconceptions about Japan

To celebrate the upcoming publication of my book, Shakotan Blue, I wanted to share an interesting tidbit of what I learned during my time in Japan. Even for a Japan Studies major like myself, there were many misconceptions about Japan that persisted in my thinking until I actually came to live in the country. So let’s recap the five biggest notions about Japan that I have learned just aren’t true.

Image courtesy of Wikipedia.org

1. Japan Is Not So High-Tech

After rising to economic dominance with companies like Sony, Panasonic, and Toshiba, Japan has certainly become synonymous with cutting-edge technology. One of my college history professors even said, “If you want to see the future, go to East Asia.” The idea being that technology was advancing so rapidly in Japan, China, and South Korea that visiting those countries was like traveling forward in time. Well, I’m been to the future, and you know what? Outside of Akihabara in Tokyo, Japan isn’t all that futuristic.

Don’t get me wrong: Japan has the most technologically advanced toilet seats in the world, for sure. The rail systems are top-notch. And modern Japanese home appliances are always compact and energy efficient. But that doesn’t mean Japan feels like technological dreamland. A well-engineered rice cooker is nice, but it’s not exactly on par with the robots I had been promised.

In some areas of life, Japan almost seems resistant to adopting conveniences that we take for granted in the US. Bill paying in Japan for instance, is not particularly advanced. You can pay your electric bill or purchase concert tickets at your local convenience store. You know why? Because Japan is primarily a cash-only society and you can’t always use your debit card make those transactions online. While it appears convenient to pay for these things at the 7-Eleven, it’s really not when you consider that Internet makes the entire system irrelevant. Existing communication technology is largely not utilized.

And even though Japan is largely cash-only, ATMs are only open for specific hours of the day. Why?! Who could have possibly thought that was a good idea? Technologically advanced or not, Japan is transactionally challenged.

But that’s not all. Every household I visited in Japan had a fax machine. All businesses still insist on maintaining paper records for absolutely everything. Flip-phones with outdated features have dominated Japan’s cellular market since the days of antiquity, and Apple’s iPhone has only begun to make a dent in recent years.

The thing is, it’s not technology that defines modern Japan, but tradition.

As Japan’s population ages, the country appears more and more resistant to new consumer technology. Like a cranky grandfather who can’t be bothered to learn how to use his email, there might be a large swath of the population who prefers the old and familiar to the new and innovative.

Image courtesy of Wikipedia.org

2. Japan Is Not So Weird

Not by a long shot

In the west, Japan has the reputation of being outlandish, kooky place; loud, colorful, and frenetic, like a teenybopper’s fever dream. Through wildly creative animation and video games, the island nation has solidified its place in the global zeitgeist as a Nerd Mecca. But beyond the bubblegum pop, the dissemination of crazy prank videos from Japanese TV and truly bizarre urban myths have added a mildly disturbing underside to the country’s kooky image.

This may come as a surprise, but Japan is not nearly as incomprehensible as you’ve been led to believe. In fact, overall Japan is a rather conservative place. Remember that thing I said about tradition in the last section?

Out of context, the aberrant gets misconstrued as the norm. Videos of weird pranks and gross-out humor posted online as examples of bizarre Japanese traditions are almost always gags from comedy programs. It’s like if someone in Japan used Saturday Night Live skits as an example of how bizarre American political values are. It’s not representative of the country; it’s literally a joke. If you see an outrageous video from Japan and it strikes you as truly deviant, you can be fairly certain that the vast majority of Japanese people will have the exact same reaction.

It doesn’t make for good headlines, but the fact of the matter is that life in Japan is fairly ordinary. There certainly are differences between Japan and the US—especially the esoteric cultural nuances you would have never known of, had you not read my book—but if you come to Japan expecting the perplexing and ridiculous highlights you’ve seen online, you might be disappointed by how normal everything is.

Image courtesy of Pokemon.Wikia.com

3. Silly Otaku, Anime is for Kids!

Speaking of Japan as a Nerd Mecca, I have some bad news for anyone whose interest in Japanese culture is based entirely on an appreciation of anime. Sorry dudes, but even in Japan, cartoons are primary made for kids. Animated cinema carries about the same level of mainstream respectability in Japan as it does in the US.

Manga reading is far more prevalent in Japan, as comic books are produced in just about every genre you can think of. But that doesn’t mean the entire country is really into comic book superheroes. It means that there is an infinite amount of manga in genres that you would find completely boring. If a popular manga can be made into a live-action movie or TV series, the producers will likely go that route. Generally it’s only when the audience is considered to be teens or younger that the concept gets animated.

Just look at the Pokémon cartoon series. See how childish and silly it is? The audience they’re aiming for is very young, and that’s the audience the majority anime series aim for. And sure, there are some exceptions, but they are few. In general, a “mature” anime audience means teenagers.

Japan is not exactly a nerd utopia. The country does not embrace nerd culture any more than the US does. On the contrary, Japan is almost certainly a less hospitable place for niche subcultures. While some anime enthusiasts in the US call themselves “otaku” as badge of honor, the word remains an insult reserved for outcasts in Japan. You really don’t want to be labeled as an otaku.

Sakamoto Ryoma. Image courtesy of Wikipedia.org

4. Japan’s Citizens Are More Individualistic Than You Think

More so than most other nations, Japan is viewed from the outside—and often from within—as a very homogeneous country. Japanese society certainly encourages blending in with the crowd, values modesty over audacity, and emphasizes loyalty to the group above one’s personal desires. The image of the Japanese people as a united front is pervasive.

The unfortunate result of this constructed image is that many people outside Japan tend to assume that the outward conformity is representative of an internal conformity shared by all Japanese people. Those who generalize tend to assume that Japanese people are less individualistic than people in the west. And that’s simply not true.

The Japanese friends I’ve made throughout my journey not only hold a great diversity of opinions, political attitudes, and tastes, but they are at least as individualistic as their western counterparts—maybe more so! It’s just not as immediately apparent because they generally aren’t very vocal about it.

Plenty people in Japan won’t be too quick to share their honest opinions with you. Again, modesty is highly valued. But just because someone doesn’t share their opinions easily doesn’t mean they don’t have one.

The people who felt comfortable discussing politics with me revealed an incredible diversity of opinion. While I expected most folks to lean conservative, the views they shared fell all over on the political spectrum, and many surprised me with their nuanced stances across multiple divisive issues. Far from subscribing to one preconceived agenda, all my Japanese friends proved to be more individualistic that I would have assumed.

Classic Chris Farley SNL skit. Image from Imgur.

5. Learning to Speak Japanese Isn’t Really That Hard

(It’s reading and writing that’s impossible)

Japanese is a cool language, the one that I had always wanted to learn. But learning it outside of Japan can be very challenging. It’s so completely different than English and not widely spoken in the US, meaning that my opportunities to practice were few and far between. And that’s what you need to learn a language like Japanese, practice. Tons and tons of practice.

I studied Japanese in college and, despite my great enthusiasm, I came out of school unable to hold a real conversation. I memorized loads of vocabulary, grammatical structures, and at least a couple hundred kanji, but my brain was never able to access this information quickly enough for me to utilize it. All my study proved futile, useless.

But why?

When you switch from speaking English to Japanese, your brain has to “change gears”, so to speak. The part of the brain that handles language is like a muscle; you have to exercise it to keep it fit. You have to use it or lose it. When we study in school, the part of the brain that commits all the vocabulary and grammar to memory doesn’t necessarily connect that information to actionable language part. Study all you want, but without putting things into practice—as in actually speaking the language—you won’t build the language skills you need.

So how does one really learn Japanese?

You have to engage in actual conversations. You have to listen and you have to speak. Talk with as many different people as possible, different ages, different jobs, ideally people from different regions. You have to force your brain to shift into Japanese-mode and build an understanding of the language that can be rapidly accessed without even thinking about it. That’s the only way to practice.

The catch is, to learn as quickly and thoroughly as possible, you need to go to Japan. You need to immerse yourself in the culture, to surround yourself with Japanese words, spoken and written. You need to make English the language that must be sought, and Japanese the default speech of day-to-day life. You need to go to Japan.

Whatever your current skill level, however much you know: start there. Fake it ‘til you make it. Seriously. Practice speaking is the only way to learn to speak. Go to Japan and speak the language everyday.

And please note, while I said that learning to speak Japanese isn’t really that hard, I didn’t say that learning to read and write Japanese is so easy. Thanks to the seemingly infinite number of kanji used in Japanese text, reading and writing competency is a far, far more daunting goal than speaking.

Learning new kanji is just plain difficult. Still, the more conversational experience you acquire, the more vocabulary you will learn. The larger your vocabulary, the easier it will be to learn new kanji, and vice versa. So even if you want to master reading and writing, you still need to go to Japan.

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Badass Japanese Vocabulary T-shirts

Have you enjoyed our Speaking Japanese Like a Badass articles? Well, now you can get the t-shirt! With the upcoming release of the book Shakotan Blue, we’re celebrating by making wearable versions of your favorite Japanese vocabulary words and phrases. Check out the images below and leave a comment to let us know if there’s another dictionary entry you’d like to see on a t-shirt.

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Coming Soon…The Book

Kamui Misaki Mikaku037

If you’ve enjoyed the true stories of life in rural Japan featured on this blog, then I have a treat for you. I’ve written a book!

Titled Shakotan Blue, the book will soon be released through Ahmnition. It catalogs the most popular content from this blog–all the humorous anecdotes and helpful insights on Japanese culture–along with some new tales that never made it online.

Shakotan Blue front_cover

Check out ShakotanBlue.com for more details.

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Speaking Japanese like a Badass Vol.2

Are you running out of cool Japanese expressions that make you sound totally badass? Then it’s time to add to your verbal arsenal with another round of ‘Speaking Japanese Like a Badass’. Again, I’ll assume that you’ve already begun your linguistic journey with the barebones basics. At the very least, everybody who comes to Japan needs to know arigatō (もありがとう – thank you) and sumimasen (すみません – excuse me), and I’m going to assume you know basic grammar as well. Plus, you’ve obviously read the first ‘Speaking Japanese Like a Badass’, so I’ll try not to repeat myself.

Shōganai (仕様が無い) – “It can’t be helped”

When I first arrived in Japan, the trainers with my company taught this phrase to all new teachers on day one. (Perhaps I should have recognized that as a bad omen.) Literally meaning “there is no way”, shōganai (仕様が無い) is an infinitely useful phrase to express that something is inevitable, nothing can be done, or the situation can’t be helped. It is the ultimate expression of accepting an unpleasant reality, of reinforcing the status quo, of acknowledging one’s helpless to change anything. In many ways, it is the most Japanese expression of all.

And this expression can be used for all matter of no-win situations, from the very serious, to the very trivial. It’s raining today? Shōganai. We’re all going to die someday? Shōganai. Your job’s being transferred to another city? Shōganai. All your students failed their English exam? Well, nothing we can do about it now. Shōganai. The potential uses of this phrase go on and on and on.

Kankeinai (関係ない) – “That’s not it”

Sometimes in conversation a badass needs to express that the discussion has veered off topic, or simply that someone is focusing on the wrong thing. If you find yourself in that position, the dismissive phrase you’re looking for is kankeinai (関係ない). Literally meaning, “there’s no connection”, kankeinai is a succinct way to say, “that has nothing to do with it” or “that doesn’t matter”. Depending on its usage, this flexible phrase can be interpreted as “I don’t care about that” or “that doesn’t concern me”. Be careful not to overuse this phrase, lest you sound like a jerk.

Shinmai (新米) – “Novice”

When one first arrives in Japan, it goes without saying that there will be many things with which they are unfamiliar. For this reason, it’s good to be able to express when you are new to particular activity. To express your inexperience, use the word shinmai (新米). While the literal translation of shinmai is “new rice”, the term is used to mean “beginner, newcomer, novice”. The closest English equivalent would be calling someone “green” for their lack of experience in a specific field. Once you’re a hardened pro, you can use this term to single out newbies who have yet to reach your level of mastery.

Guchagucha (ぐちゃぐちゃ) – “Messy, Sloppy”

Japan is known for emphasizing cleanliness, organization, and order. So how does one express that something is not so neat and tidy? The answer is a fun little onomatopoeia, pronounced guchagucha (ぐちゃぐちゃ). This term means “messy, sloppy, untidy” and can refer to everything from a cluttered desk or mussed up hair, to muddy boots and paint-splattered overalls. For a non-native person living in Japan, this term becomes a necessity.

Manzoku (満足) – “Satisfaction, Sufficient”

It’s good to know when you’ve done very well, but sometimes it’s even more important to know you’ve merely done well enough. In these situations, it’s good to know the word manzoku (満足), meaning, “satisfactory” or “sufficient”. This term can be used to express deep satisfaction, like someone being contented with their life or satisfied in their work, to more mundane usage, like when you fill out required paperwork sufficiently. Manzoku ga iku (満足が行く) is the full phrase meaning “to be satisfied”, while manzokukan (満足感) refers to the feeling of satisfaction.

More Kotowaza (諺) for Badasses

Here are a few more Japanese proverbs. In case someone uses one of these idioms in conversation, or you find yourself in the opportune moment to use one yourself, these phrases will make you sound like a badass.

Ashita yaro bakayarō. (明日やろばかやろう。) This fun rhyming phrase means “doing it tomorrow makes you an idiot”. But a more fitting translation would be “procrastination is masturbation”.

Ashita ha ashita no kaze ga fuku. (明日は明日の風が吹く。) The opposite notion of the last phrase, this saying means, “tomorrow’s wind blows tomorrow”. This is a laidback way to express that tomorrow will take care of itself.

Asu no koto wo ieba oni ga warau. (明日の事を言えば鬼が笑う。) Keeping to phrases about tomorrow, this maxim literally means, “Talking about the future makes demons laugh”. I’ve seen this translated a bit dramatically as, “Nobody knows the morrow.”

Asu no hyaku yori kyō no gojū. (明日の百より今日の五十。) This phrase translates to “fifty today is better than a hundred tomorrow”. As the English equivalent goes, “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”, it is better to have a small but certain advantage now than the mere potential of a greater one later.

Hana yori dango (花より団子) – “Dumplings rather than flowers.” This is a saying for people who are more interested in the practical rather than the aesthetic. At least you can eat the dumplings.

Gojuppo hyappo (五十歩百歩) – “50 steps, 100 steps.” Much like the English phrase “six of one and a half dozen of the other”, this saying indicates a scant difference between two compared things.

Kyuukanbi (休肝日)– “Liver’s Day Off”

As I’m sure you are aware, Japan has a healthy love of drinking. Japan loves drinking so much, in fact, that whether it is healthy or not is up for debate. But it is from this drinking culture that we get a fun vocabulary word that everyone should have in their arsenal: kyuukanbi (休肝日). Kyuukanbi is a day where one abstains from alcohol, a term that literally means “liver rest day”. This word can be used anytime you would rather not drink, but you don’t want to give the impression that you never drink. Perhaps you really overdid the previous night and the thought of imbibing alcohol at present is distinctly unappealing, but you might be down for a beer tomorrow. In cases like this, just whip out kyuukanbi and everyone will be on the same page.

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Shakotan’s Garbage Rules

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One thing I have come to love about Japanese culture is its reverent appreciation and conservation of nature. Environmental issues always seem to be on the forefront of the national conscience. This means that Japan is (usually) quite an environmentally responsible country. While I had an understanding of this, I didn’t know how it would personally affect me while living in Japan. As I have now learned, the rules and schedule of garbage disposal is significantly more complicated than what I had experienced in the States. Americans with a shaky grasp on Japanese (like me) might initially find the rules a bit daunting, so here’s what I’ve learned.

Growing up in Iowa, we definitely could recycle things like cardboard, but in my experience most people only really bothered to recycle bottles and cans—and then mostly just to get their nickel and dime deposits back. In Seattle, where everybody’s a tree-hugging hippie, each apartment complex would have two dumpsters; one for trash and one for recyclables, like aluminum cans, glass bottles, cardboard, and plastic. Many buildings also had a receptacle for food and yard waste. It was a Planeteer’s dream! Coming from this perspective, I fully expected that Sapporo would be serious about their recycling rules, but Shakotan, being a rural area, would be more lassie faire and simply trash everything. That didn’t hold true.

As I learned, trash in Japan is separated to a few different categories: burnable trash (燃えるゴミ), non-burnable trash (燃えないゴミ), plastics (プラゴミ), metal cans (缶), glass bottles (ビン), plastic bottles (ペート), and paper waste (紙ゴミ).  In Shakotan, special color coded trash bags are used to distinguish between burnable trash (yellow bags), non-burnable trash (blue bags), and plastics (orange bags).

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Burnable trash is what you consider to be regular old garbage and this stuff goes off to literally be incinerated. Disposable chopsticks, used paper towels and tissues, banana peels, egg shells and other food scraps, your general ‘yucky stuff’ all goes in the burnable category.

The plastics category is where things get a bit more interesting. With the exception of plastic bottles that have their own unique group, everything plastic goes into this category—even the plastic bottle lids! This includes all plastic bags, Styrofoam, plastic packaging, plastic wrapping, and pretty much anything made out of polystyrene. This must be separated from your regular burnable trash.

Since so many food products come in plastic containers, especially ready-to-eat items, some of your plastic trash ends up messy with sauce, grease, or some other viscous slime smeared on it. In the US, we would probably call this soiled and toss it in the trash. But in Japan, you are supposed to clean the grease off and put it in the plastic trash. That’s right; you wash your garbage before throwing it away.

Even in Seattle, I remember tossing many a plastic lid, wrapper, or grocery bag in trash can, because I had been told that it wasn’t recyclable. I had always wondered how much such things added up in the grand scale of things. Now, after having collected all my plastic waste in one spot, I tell you that it accumulates pretty quickly. Even just the plastic bags and packaging from one person’s groceries can form a hefty mountain in a week’s time.

Plastic bottles are called “PET” bottles (ペート), referring to polyethylene terephthalate, the polymer they contain. These bottles proudly sport a number 1 resin identification code inside the universal recycling symbol. Clearly, this system was someone’s PET project. (These jokes plastically write themselves!)

Cans and glass bottles are pretty self-explanatory, but paper waste category requires a bit of clarification. Paper waste doesn’t simply mean anything made of paper. Specifically, it’s supposed to be stackable things made of paper. Old magazines, broken down cardboard boxes, and even broken down milk cartons fall into this category. The key is that your stack of recyclable paper needs to be of a fairly uniform shape and must be properly bound with some sort of cord. At school, where a pint of milk comes with every meal, each student is responsible for methodically rinsing and breaking down their own milk carton. These rectangular pieces of cardboard are then collected, and over time form massive stacks until they are gigantic enough for paper recycling day.

And finally, if waste item doesn’t fit into one of the previously stated categories, it probably goes into the non-burnable trash. That said, I have never gotten the waste management crew in Shakotan to take a bag of non-burnable trash from me, ever. So I might not know what I’m talking about when it comes to this category.

The trash is collected on weekdays, and pickups are scheduled both by the week and by the month. For example, here’s what Shakotan’s waste management picks up every week:

Mon:     Burnable trash (燃えるゴミ)

Tues:     Plastics (プラゴミ)

Wed:     N/A

Thurs:   Burnable trash (燃えるゴミ)

Fri:         Non-burnable trash (燃えないゴミ)

The monthly pickups follow a Monday-Wednesday-Thursday schedule that varies from week to week. Since the third week is the same as the first, and the fourth week is the same as the second, so the schedule basically alternates like this:

Odd weeks:                                                                        Even weeks:

Mon – Cans & Bottles (缶・ビン)                           Mon – PET & Paper (ペート・紙)

Wed – PET & Paper (ペート・紙)                          Wed – Cans & Bottles (缶・ビン)

Thurs – PET & Paper (ペート・紙)                        Thurs – Cans & Bottles (缶・ビン)

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Personally, I’ve never paid much attention to the monthly pickup schedule because my apartment doesn’t have a proper bin to leave trash out. My neighbors and I literally leave our garbage out on the corner on the scheduled day and it gets picked up there. In the case of Cans & Bottles Day, someone at my apartment has to put out these specially labeled Rubbermaid baskets or there’s nowhere for me to leave my recycling. That means I just wait until a morning when the baskets appear and toss all my cans then.  Unlike cans and glass, PET bottles get collected in a big green net, which I’ve always liked. It really fits my seaside village.

My favorite part of Shakotan’s garbage collection has to the garbage trucks themselves. Painted baby blue, the smallish refuse collection vehicles have a fairly cute look, but the music they play is just plain adorable. I suppose they play music to announce their presence wherever they go, both to alert pedestrians that a heavy truck is rolling through, and also to remind forgetful residents that they need to take their trash out, posthaste. But when I first heard the garbage truck driving through, I thought the Ice Cream Man had come to town. The trucks play a variety of recognizable songs, most from classic animated series and movies, all played in a tinkly music box style. The themes from Laputa, My Neighbor Totoro, Ponyo, even Lupin III; the trucks play them all.  And always the tune is reduced to its basic melody, played like a lullaby being plucked out on the teeth of metal comb. It was definitely foreign to me when I first heard it, but it is undeniably peaceful and downright relaxing.

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Speaking Japanese Like a Badass

 

When coming to Japan, people usually learn basic phrases to be polite and generally get by. Pretty much everyone in the world knows konnichiwa (こんにちは – Good day) and dōmo arigatō (どうもありがとう – Thank you), and almost as many are familiar with the absolutely crucial sumimasen (すみません), which can mean “excuse me”, “I’m sorry”, or even “thank you”, depending on the precise context.  The overachieving otaku have probably mastered sugoi (すごい – amazing, cool) and daijōbu (大丈夫 – OK, alright) from their hours of anime research. But if you plan on being in Japan for longer than a few weeks, you going to want more tools in your verbal arsenal than the barebones basics.

That’s where I come in. Here are some useful expressions for you to use when you really want to sound like you know some Japanese. This is the good stuff that I wish I would have had down on day one. Let’s start with a general tip to assist you in your linguistic journey.

Ano~/Eto~ (あの, ええと、えっと) – The Verbal Pause

If you’re just starting out learning Japanese, or having trouble actually using the stuff you’ve learned in class, I recommend training yourself to use the Japanese verbal pause. Saying ano~ or eto~ is the Japanese equivalent of saying “Um…”, “Ah…” or “Let me see…”, and buys you time to search your brain for that missing vocabulary word when you’re trying to hold a conversation. This was recommended to me way back in the day and I made a half-assed attempt at using it, but never really took it seriously until I was speaking Japanese every day. Basically, when you start conversing in a second language, it’s like your brain changes gears. Stammering with your native ums and ahs will pull you back into English mode and break your rhythm. So remember to falter the way the native speakers do it, it honestly makes carrying on that much easier.

Similarly, when something catches you off guard, you’ll probably want to say, “Huh?” or “What’s that?” But resist this slide back into English. Train your Japanese speaking instincts to respond with are (あれ), the Japanese equivalent. It’s the perfect way to express that you didn’t quite hear the question or didn’t quite understand it.

Iranai de (いらないで) – “I don’t want/need it.”

If there is only one certainty in life, it’s that when you buy something in Japan, they will put it in a bag. Even when you buy a bottle of water at the conbini (コンビに – convenience store), they will bag it. You probably won’t even be asked if you want a fukuro (袋– bag), they’ll just assume you know how this process works. So when you see the salesperson reaching for the bag – and they move with speed and precision – you’ll need to quickly express that you don’t need it. In proper Japanese, you’d say iranai desu, but since you’re a badass, just shorten it to iranai de.

Another important phrase to use at the register is the convenient compound word mochi-kaeri (持ち帰り), meaning “to go”, takeout, takeaway. When buying a coffee at Mr. Donut, you will surely be asked if you want to drink it in the store – they do have free refills on coffee, by the way – or if you’ll take it “to go”. In case of the latter, just drop mochi-kaeri with a cocky smirk.

Chidoriashi (千鳥足) – The Thousand Bird Step

Drinking is pretty popular in Japan in general, and getting sloppy drunk at social outings is not uncommon. Therefore knowing the vocabulary of the yopparai (酔っ払う – drunken person) can be quite handy. For example, how can you express that you – or your friend, yeah sure, we’ll say your friend – is too drunk to walk properly? Use chidoriashi, the Japanese term for a drunken stagger. The term quite literally translates to “thousand bird step”, which I assume must be what a drunkard’s footprints are supposed to look like. It’s really all you need to say to express that you’re not currently able to ride your bike home, operate heavy machinery, or send an ill-advised text message to your ex.

A related term that’s also worth knowing is futsukayoi (二日酔い), Japanese for hangover. It literally means “two days drunk” and is the perfect term to explain why you were late for work this morning.

Otsukaresama deshita (お疲れ様でした) – “Thanks for the hard work”

Speaking of work, if you are employed in Japan, you are certain to hear the phrase otsukaresama deshita, meaning “Thank you for your hard work”. Translated too literally, otsukaresama means “the honorable tired one”, but your colleague is not insinuating that you look tired. This is an old-fashioned expression of appreciation for your efforts. You’ll also hear this said among sports teams, yōsakoi dance groups, when helping a friend move, and from people at the gym. It’s usually said at the completion of something, or when people are parting ways, like a special exercise goodbye.

Also, if you’re asked to do something and you’d like to express that you’re happy to do it, I recommend saying yorokonde (喜んで). Literally meaning “with pleasure”, this phrase is perfect for when your Yakuza boss has just ordered you to rough up that guy, who conveniently, you already had a beef with.

Ryu ga Gotoku

Omatase shimashita (お待たせしました) – “Thank you for waiting”

Another one that you’re sure to hear at a restaurant or at the airport, omatase shimashita is a convenient phrase that you’ll probably want to use yourself. Literally meaning “I made you wait” in polite Japanese, this one is pretty straight forward. In fact, it’s so ubiquitous that you probably didn’t need to have me introduce it to you. When speaking among your peers, feel free to abbreviate it to simply omatase; because you’re too badass to be bothered with the long version anyway.

Speaking of restaurants and being in a hurry, kuinige (食い逃げ) is the Japanese phrase for “dine and dash”, to run away without paying for your food. It’s a combination of the words for eat and escape, but you didn’t hear that from me…

Osewa ni narimashita (お世話になりました) – “Thank you for helping me”

People in Japan are extremely generous, and you’re certain to feel like you owe a debt of gratitude to someone along the way. While you can say dōmo arigatō gozaimasu – and you will, a lot – you might find yourself wishing that you had another way to express your appreciation, something special to convey to this person in particular that they really saved your ass. In that situation, say osewa ni narimashita. This is like saying “Thank you for helping me”, but with gratitude to the point of being indebted. In that sense, it’s a bit more like saying “I am obliged to you” or “Thank you for taking care of me.”

Ojama shimasu (おじゃまします) –Entering someone’s home

Since we want to be refined, classy badasses, and not chavy thugs, it’s best to say ojama shimasu when entering someone’s home. You’d usually say this when you’re talking off your shoes at the genkan (玄関 – entryway), so it’s kind of like saying “excuse me for intruding.” Remember this pleasantry so that you don’t look uncouth. And remember to say it again when leaving, except use the past tense version, ojama shimashita.

Kotowaza (諺) – Japanese Proverbs

You might find that’s helpful to know a few classic Japanese idioms, just in case someone uses one in conversation with you, or you find yourself in the perfect opportunity to reference one and sound like a badass. There are tons of these to potentially learn, but I’ll just give you a couple examples.

The first is my absolute favorite, Saru mo ki kara ochiru (猿も木から落ちる). Literally meaning “even monkeys fall out of trees”, it’s the Japanese way of saying that everyone makes mistakes. While I don’t know of an equivalently poetic phrase in English, the closest one by meaning would probably be “that’s why pencils have erasers.”

Next is a phrase that’s rather famously Japanese, Derukui wa utareru (出る杭は打たれる). It literally means, “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.” A profound commentary on conformity in Japan, this old adage is saying that the best policy is to keep you head down and never stand out, lest society has to put you in your place.

And lastly, another cool saying is Uso wa nusubito no hajimari (うそは盗人の始まり). This translates as “lies are the beginnings of thieves”, which is fairly self-explanatory.

Okagesama de (お蔭様で) – Under the Gods’ Shadow

Anyone who’s spent any time in Japan has experienced the Genki Conversation, the common pleasantry of inquiring about someone’s wellbeing. This is the How are you? Conversation in English, the Ça va Conversation in French, and it usually goes something like this:

A) Konnichiwa. Genki desu ka? (こんにちは。元気ですか?)

B) Hai, genki desu. Anata wa? (はい、元気です。あなたは?)

A) Hai, genki desu. (はい、元気です。)

Not that there’s anything wrong with always repeating this basic conversation, but a badass doesn’t stick to generic pleasantries. To shock native speakers with your comprehension of Japanese language and culture, when they ask if you’re genki, reply with this: Okagesama de genki desu (お蔭様で元気です). I guarantee that they’ll be impressed.

What you just said was very humble. You see, Okagesama de generally means “by assistance”, and potentially “by your backing”, indicating that while you are well, you’re not taking any credit for it. In fact, depending on the context, you might be crediting the person you’re talking to for your position, like saying, “Thanks to you, I’m fine.” By itself, kage (蔭) means shade, shadow, or “the other side”, while the ‘o’ prefix and ‘sama’ suffix are both honorific. Since westerners sometimes have a hard time not taking absolute credit for the circumstances in which they’ve found themselves, and an even harder time giving this credit to other people, this humble phrase is sometimes translated as “by the grace of God” or “under the Gods’ shadow”.

In a related tip, if you get tired of asking people if they are genki, I recommend using the phrase Choushi wa dou desu ka? (調子はどうですか?) This is like saying, “How’s it going?”

Kyoushuku desu (恐縮です) – The Ultimate Japanese Phrase

No matter where you go in Japan, you are sure to encounter compliments. Japan is a famously polite nation and the people generally like to make you feel comfortable. They will compliment your Japanese language skills, even if you can only say one word…badly. They will compliment your looks, prepare to be told that you have a tall nose and a small face – they’re apparently good things. They will compliment your physique; you’d never guess that you were so tall and muscular until several Japanese grandmothers tell you so.

But Japan is also a famously humble nation. Try and return a compliment to a Japanese person and you will be brushed off. To give is better than to receive, and Japanese people do not accept praise. Seriously, you can’t even compliment someone’s family without them waving it off, lest a part of the praise reflect positively on them. (“Your wife is very attractive.” – “Oh, her? No! She’s actually quite ugly without all the makeup.”) Well now, I bet you feel a little embarrassed for agreeing with all the nice things they said about you. Clearly, no one here ever accepts a compliment.

So what’s a foreigner to do when you’re complimented on your ability to use chopsticks for the millionth time? Use this phrase to surprise and delight any unsuspecting Japanese person: Kyoushuku desu (恐縮です).

While it literally means to shrink (縮) with fear (恐), kyoushuku desu would best be translated as “that is too kind of you” or “stop, you’re embarrassing me”. This, my friends, is the ultimate tool in your Japanese arsenal. With so many compliments to brush off, you’ll never run out of opportunities to bust it out. And the best part is that no other foreigners ever seem to use it. You’ll look like a Japan Studies scholar and the reactions you’ll get will be priceless. Just be careful not to switch the vowels and say, Kyūshoku desu (給食です) – that means “school lunch”.

You can even use the same words at the beginning of sentence to politely ask a favor, just add the particle ‘ga’: Kyoushuku desu ga… This is like starting off your request with “I’m sorry to trouble you” or “I’m embarrassed to say this”.

And if you end up using kyoushuku desu to death – remember, with great power comes great responsibility – you can always shake things up with osore irimasu (恐れいります). Using the same “fear” kanji as kyoushuku, this phrase has almost the exact same meaning in conversation. Now go turn down those compliments like a true badass.

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